Dirty Bugger

So, big surprise, there is a giant creep roaming TTC property, allegedly standing thisclose to women with long dark hair and wanking himself. That is just another reason to go to Master Cuts and ask for the "Dorothy Hamill"...

News report below... BEWARES!

Cops release security images of suspect wanted in connection to TTC sex assaults
680News staff May 13, 2010 23:25:03 PM
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Toronto police are asking female subway riders to be especially vigilant after a series of sexual assaults on the TTC dating back to 2007.

According to investigators, the suspect rides the Yonge-Spadina-University subway line during morning and evening rush hours.

He approaches women between the ages of 20 and 40, with long black or dark brown hair.

He then stands behind them on crowded trains and performs sexual acts.

The man is described as:

- East Indian
- 5'9"
- 30-40-years-old
- Having a medium build
- Having black wavy hair

Police said riders should be especially careful at the following stations on the Yonge line:
- Dundas and Queen (morning rush)
- Eglinton and Davisville (afternoon rush hour)

Anyone with information is asked to contact police at 416-808-7474, Crime Stoppers
anonymously at 416-222-TIPS (8477), online at www.222tips.com, or text TOR and
message to CRIMES (274637).

Pregnant and Pissed

We pull into St. Clair station and a very pregnant woman steps onto the car. “Get up!” she announces. “I’m pregnant; I’d very much like to sit down please!”. She is talking to nobody and everybody at once. She is waddling towards the 5 seated commuters nearest her, not even waiting for a response. Direct and commanding she’s like a sergeant! A few are startled and 2 of them jump to their feet. “Here, take my seat, ma’am” says a handsome lanky manboy. “No, this seat has more leg room” says a helpful young business woman, she puts her iPod away and gets up quickly. “Thank you both, so much” preggo says, carefully lowering herself into the seat and letting out a sigh of relief.

Now I will tell you what really happened. We pull into St. Clair station and a very pregnant (likely psychopathic) woman scrambles into the car. “Somebody get up NOW!” she screams as she holds the underside of her belly. I am already standing, so I am no help to her, and there isn’t water leaking or screams of pain so I’m assuming she’s not in labour. She looks about 12 months pregnant. No one looks up. Everyone is plugged in and in the zone. Some are reading the Metro, some are sleeping, most have their eyes closed and are bopping to their personal soundtracks, blocking out the crazies. She is exasperated and confronts a sleeping asian pre-teen. She kicks his skateboard shoed foot. He awakens, startled and sneers. “Let me sit!” she demands loudly and over-enunciating. He gets up, shocked and as he shuffles off to lean again the exit doors he mutters something in an unknown language that sounded like “Jowla” which I’m pretty sure means something like “bitch” or “fat head”.

I myself am 3 months pregnant and while I’m not carting around 4 phone books worth of extra weight quite yet, my legs are achy and I prefer to sit than stand, but would I ever attack a fellow commuter for a seat, a fellow sleeping commuter at that? Stay tuned.

Is That The Poo of A Rat?

I'm sitting and minding my own business, finishing off a delicious cup of strawberry froyo from Yogen Fruz when I spot a nugget of shit. Its sitting under the seat of the person in front of me. Now the lighting in a subway car ain't great and further more it was in the shadow of the seat, but even from a few feet away I could tell it was rodent excrement. A variety of possibilities went through my mind first. A chocolate almond? A kalamata olive? One of those soft things that covers the earbud piece of a headphone? It was none of them. I craned my neck and squinted, but stopped when I realized it looked like I was focusing on the man's crotch who was seated across from me. For the record I wasn't. I guess it could have been a chewed off piece of one of those candy cigars, you know? The black licorice ones? But I'm pretty certain is was mice droppings... I almost wanted to take my spoon from my now finished yoghurt and carefully lift the specimen into my cup for a more careful exploration, but I thought that might be odd and slightly disgusting. So I just stared at it for the remainder of the ride home and imagined some innocent person (most likely in flip flops) tucking their feet under the seat and being surprised by the smelly brown mystery smear that encrusted under their toenail.