Pregnant and Pissed

We pull into St. Clair station and a very pregnant woman steps onto the car. “Get up!” she announces. “I’m pregnant; I’d very much like to sit down please!”. She is talking to nobody and everybody at once. She is waddling towards the 5 seated commuters nearest her, not even waiting for a response. Direct and commanding she’s like a sergeant! A few are startled and 2 of them jump to their feet. “Here, take my seat, ma’am” says a handsome lanky manboy. “No, this seat has more leg room” says a helpful young business woman, she puts her iPod away and gets up quickly. “Thank you both, so much” preggo says, carefully lowering herself into the seat and letting out a sigh of relief.

Now I will tell you what really happened. We pull into St. Clair station and a very pregnant (likely psychopathic) woman scrambles into the car. “Somebody get up NOW!” she screams as she holds the underside of her belly. I am already standing, so I am no help to her, and there isn’t water leaking or screams of pain so I’m assuming she’s not in labour. She looks about 12 months pregnant. No one looks up. Everyone is plugged in and in the zone. Some are reading the Metro, some are sleeping, most have their eyes closed and are bopping to their personal soundtracks, blocking out the crazies. She is exasperated and confronts a sleeping asian pre-teen. She kicks his skateboard shoed foot. He awakens, startled and sneers. “Let me sit!” she demands loudly and over-enunciating. He gets up, shocked and as he shuffles off to lean again the exit doors he mutters something in an unknown language that sounded like “Jowla” which I’m pretty sure means something like “bitch” or “fat head”.

I myself am 3 months pregnant and while I’m not carting around 4 phone books worth of extra weight quite yet, my legs are achy and I prefer to sit than stand, but would I ever attack a fellow commuter for a seat, a fellow sleeping commuter at that? Stay tuned.