alone adj. separate, apart, or isolated from others

A few months ago I recall riding the subway home after a few beers at the local pub around the corner from my office. It was about twenty minutes to twelve. I waited for the train going southbound at Yonge and Eglinton for about 5 minutes and was pleased to note that I was the only person on the car when I stepped in.

Some people, especially women, don’t like this scenario, in case some creep gets on at one of the next stations and either sits too close or starts to pester/harass her. The woman might feel at risk or worse yet, actually be at risk. Not me. Call me stupid or naive, but I find something appealing and liberating about a car to myself! Its almost like driving the subway yourself! (okay, that's a bit of a stretch). Its like that movie I Am Legend, where Will Smith’s character finds himself walking through downtown NYC midday and its completely vacant. Its a rarity and oddly amazing for a city of its size (granted New York was empty due to a hideous virus and rabid zombies, but I’d seen other souls on the platform at Yonge & Eg so I wasn’t planning my eulogy just yet).

Now maybe it was because I had had a few and was feeling a little goofy, but I decided to take full advantage of my privacy. I let out a big, long, satisfying belch and I put my feet up on the seat next to me. This is disgusting behavior. If there was even one person on the train I never in a million years would have done these things, but I was all by my lonesome and it was great.

As the train approached Davisville I was doubly pleased to note that no one was getting on my car again! Wonderful! Feeling brazen, as if I was the Queen of the Underground, as the train entered the tunnel towards Summerhill, I farted quite loudly - this is the first time I’ve ever not held it in on public transit. I was beaming. I was really enjoying myself now.

Just then, I heard someone cough from behind me. I froze in utter and complete horrorbarrassment (equal parts horror and embarrassment). I slowly turned to realize that a young man, maybe in his late teens early twenties was laying on the two seats directly behind me. Had he been there the whole time?

I stood up abruptly. I was completely startled. I wanted to flee, but we were in the tunnel and I had no where to run. I peered over the seats. His eyes were closed and he was smiling. Was he high? Homeless? Drunk? Sleeping? I sat down on the opposite side of the car and a little down from where he was laying and tried to slow my pulse. He sat up a little and muttered to himself “Holy fucking shit! I fuckin' passed out” To this day I don't know if this was due to my passing gas or not.