Her Colors Are Blush and Bashful

I thought I’d seen everything before this morning. Its not unusual to witness a woman (or a man for that matter) apply make-up on the subway ride to work. Killing two birds with one stone: travelling and beautifying. Makes perfect sense. But would you pick up your make-up sponge having dropped it on the train’s floor and dip it into your creamy square of warm honey foundation? I sure wouldn’t. Why? One word, two syllables: mi-crobes.

You see, there is no such thing as the 5-second rule on public transit vehicles. There have been tests of what substances lurk in miniscule form on TTC surfaces and they include: semen, urine, sputum, fecal matter, blood and hair from a variety of species. Would you want to spread any of these on your face? I didn’t think so. But Mimi from the Drew Carey show wanted to this morning. If that wasn’t enough to turn you right off of Sephora forever, she actually took out tweezers from her make up kit. Would you pluck your eyebrows on a train? How about a train packed with people? How about a train that was herking and jerking all over the tunnel. Tweezers are sharp! Why don’t you just nibble a block of cheese right off the end of a Ginsu while riding a rollercoaster? Do you want to stab yourself in the eyeball? Because its looks like you’re on the way to the emergency room with that behavior. Wait a second! What are you doing now? Is that a pre-waxed strip? Why are you undoing your jeans?!!!!